k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
