Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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