I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
