Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
