Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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