one two three fourrrrnication!
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
