he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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