its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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