You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
