I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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