I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
