The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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