so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
