My hair reeks of homosexuality.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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