i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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