Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Congratulations! We have a period
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