i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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