dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
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She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
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If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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