In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
