considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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