you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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