Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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