THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
