AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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