Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
