No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
