Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize