A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
