Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
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I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
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Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I still have a little drunk in my system
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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