She's like a pop up book from hell.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
