It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize