garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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