The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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