Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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