Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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