i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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