I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
