this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
