i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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