Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Be still, my beating vagina.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
