let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
