The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
