the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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