You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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