We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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