Her vagina should come with caution tape.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
