Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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