Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
