she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
