I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
