Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just high enough for therapy.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
