doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
