all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize