and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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