Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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